If you follow me on instagram, you would notice that @imjaninipanini has been having a lot of MIA moments lately. I don’t get to post every single day anymore, like every single posts from as much people as I can, and reply to each and every single comment on my posts right away. I, of course, don’t like it. Circumstances these days; however, have forced me to be like that lately.
What’s been going on?
For starters, I have moved to a different city. One where the cost of living is high and I feel like my bank account is on a diet; losing more than gaining. I can’t afford to rent my own place, so now I share a condominium unit with two other lovely girls whom I met just when I moved in. (We’re supposed to be four, but the other one left all of a sudden and we don’t know why exactly. I must have scared her with my vampire like sleeping habits.)
Second, I am also adjusting to my new school. I’m not used to being a student anymore. SoFA Design Institute is very welcoming and helpful to new students though. Some fashion students are quite intimidating, and lil ol’ me is finding it difficult to not feel insecure. I have always been an insecure person before. I just gained my confidence when I stepped into college. Now, I feel like the insecurities are coming back and that’s NOT good. I shouldn’t entertain those thoughts. I’m great and I should remember that.
Third, often I get scared. Asking if I can actually pull this off. Then I realize that I have already come so far. Quitting my job. Going against what was wanted and planned for me and my future. Taking such a huge risk. Finding sources of income here and there that wouldn’t affect my class schedule. Need lots of that, because I have to support myself. Proud of myself already that I even got to enroll. So, why be scared right? I have been strong and brave for a while already.
Fourth, my apprenticeship. I am also recently enrolled in fashion styling apprenticeship. Been tagging along our mentors to learn more what it’s really like in the real world of fashion stylists. If you watch Rachel Zoe, you would know that it is not easy. Busy schedules. Lots of work, like clothing selection and assisting at fashion show prep and whatnot. I don’t mind at all though. No matter how tiring it gets.
That’s what I realized lately. No work is easy. You just have to find one that you are willing and happy to work hard for. Why? Because based on my experience, working hard for something you don’t like is called stress, while working hard for something you love is called passion. Pursue your passions. Allow them to be your purpose until that time that your passions become your profession.
Much love (and hoping to catch up on everyone’s insta lol) ~ Janine
P.S. Catch me on snapchat to see more of what keeps me busy. my handle is imjaninipanini 😊